UCI Seeks Teaching Assistants

The University of California, Irvine is currently hiring Teacher’s Aids.  I am pleased to inform you of this exciting opportunity that is available to all students in their near future.  Commonly referred to as a TA, you will become a vital part of the education system here at the University.  You have the chance to assist professors during lecture and gain priceless “hands on experience.”

Job Description:  As a Teachers Aid, you have many duties, and they are to assist the professor as he/she:

  • Can’t figure out how to put a DVD in the player.
  • Can’t figure out how to play the DVD when the DVD menu is clearly displayed on the screen.
  • Tries but fails to get both audio and video up on the screen (a daunting task).  Audio is easy, but video requires real experience.
  • Scrambles to adjust the volume after destroying the ear drums of the entire lecture hall after he/she discovers the volume is maxed out when playing a DVD.
  • Tries to enter “presentation view” on their Power Point presentations.
  • Encounters YouTube mayhem when multiple videos play at once from tabs they forgot were open.
  • Cannot locate Power Point files that professors email to themselves but can’t find once downloaded.
  • Conduct “Discussion Sections” that will be attended by approximately 2.3% of the class population.

If you feel that you have the necessary skills, and are interested in the position please don’t hesitate to seek further information.  For the interview process, please bring a DVD which will be required to demonstrate your skills to the selection staff.  Also, wear comfortable shoes as we will be timing your reactions to situations in which sprinting to the podium may be necessary.  If you are comfortable with crouching behind a podium fixing problems in front of hundreds of students, and speaking in front of tens of them, this is the position for you.

Thank you for considering the position.

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2 Responses to UCI Seeks Teaching Assistants

  1. progbassist says:

    Genius. AGAIN.

  2. Terry Lok says:

    LOL literally every single of these things happens in college goddamn fuck UC

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